


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADSIOa7 [Y]F08BY80fyDFUpfj[fupbODUFR

by MeinongsJungleBook



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Chat Logs, Crack, Dancing, Friendship, Humor, Other, Scheming, Social Media, intentional spelling and grammatical errors, shippers on deck, unlikely friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 13:15:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20228443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeinongsJungleBook/pseuds/MeinongsJungleBook
Summary: *~*~bumblebae~*~*is now online





	AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADSIOa7 [Y]F08BY80fyDFUpfj[fupbODUFR

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Windscream Week prompts "Crack" and "Dancing".

** GORETEX **

hey 

hey 

hey 

u up? 

heeeeeeeey 

hey hey hey hey hey hey HAY 

** *~*~ ** ** bumblebae ** ** ~*~* **

yup yup I’m up :) 

** GORETEX **

ayyyyyyyeeeee 

** *~*~ ** ** bumblebae ** ** ~*~* **

sorry I was in the washracks 

** GORETEX **

guess wat 

** *~*~ ** ** bumblebae ** ** ~*~* **

wat? 

** GORETEX **

so i was on guard duty today 

** *~*~ ** ** bumblebae ** ** ~*~* **

fun times 

** GORETEX **

sometimes 

like today 

when i had to follow screamer to a meeting with windy 

** *~*~ ** ** bumblebae ** ** ~*~* **

:3c 

go on... 

** GORETEX **

and windy was like ur late again 

and then screamer was like u dont want me coming early do u ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

ad then windy was like u gotta b more considerate if u wanna come at all 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

O 

M 

P 

They're killing me 

They're always killing me 

HAVEN’T I DIED ENOUGH TIMES ALREADY!??!?!?!! 

** GORETEX **

technically youve died the same number of times as the average cybertronian 

but inorite????? 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

UGH HOW MUCH LONGER AM I GONNA HAVE TO WAIT?!?!?! 

HOW CAN THEY NOT GET IT?????????????? 

EVERY DAY 

EVERY 

PRIMUS 

DAMN 

DAY 

ONE OF THEM COMES TO ME 

TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE OTHER 

AND ALMOST EVERY SINGLE TIME 

IT TURNS INTO THEM GOING ON ABOUT HOW INTO EACH OTHER THEY ARE 

AND SOMEHOW THEY DON’T EVEN NOTICE 

** GORETEX **

for smart bots theyre rly dumb 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

Ugh. 

Tell me about it. 

like the other day Windblade was telling me about how she hated how rude Starscream is, but that just turned into her saying how funny it was when he said the reason Elita is so grouchy is cos the last time she got laid is when she had to use her spike to plug up Carcer’s leaky coolant filter 

** GORETEX **

_ lmao _

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

Then almost as soon as she leaves SS is coming over to complain about how WB ruins all his fun,_ but then literally the next minute he__’__s saying she__’__s one of the only people around who__’__s any fun_, and then he spends the next ** hour **going on about how she’d be REALLY fun if just let herself go... 

** GORETEX **

its only a matter of time til that happens 

i can tell 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

Anyway 

What I’m saying is 

I’ve been putting up with this long enough 

** GORETEX **

they just need 2 fragging frag already 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

Well 

Yes 

They do 

and they need to confront their feelings for one another 

_ a__nd just let themselves be happy _

because I just _know _they could be _so _happy together 

I just** _know _ **it would work 

and by now I think I can call myself an expert 

Spending 4 and a half years with nothing to do but listen to screamer’s tsundering makes me an authority on the matter 

** GORETEX **

_ a__nd u still __wont __tell me all the details!!!!!!! _

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

well I can’t give it all away since a lot of it’s deeply private 

but I _will _say that Screamer spent several sleepless nights staring at the ceiling from his recharge slab thinking about her... 

** GORETEX **

youve already told me that 

but I never get sick of hearing it 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

I have feelings 

feelings about the mission to Cloran 

somethings gonna go down 

_ I __just __know _

** GORETEX **

_ g__aaaaaaah __why do blast off and brawl get to go __whne __I __dont _ _ ??? _

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

:C 

** GORETEX **

maybe if 1 of them had an “accident” i could go instead... 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

Vortex. 

No. 

** GORETEX **

ur no fun 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

I'm the most fun 

** GORETEX **

ur an autobot 

ur the definition of boring 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

then why are you talking to me? 

** GORETEX **

cos every1 else is even more boring when theyre not killing stuff with me 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

well I guess that’s the closest thing to a compliment I’m ever going to get out of you 

but anyway 

_ guess what__? _

I’ve been waiting to tell you... 

they've had me researching Cloranian culture and traditions to prep them for the trip... 

_ a__nd _**_OMFP _ **

_ li__sten to this _

the Cloranians consider interpersonal harmony to be one of the most important values of all... 

_ ...m__eaning they__’__ll only open positive diplomatic relations with allies who show they__'__re capable of such harmony__... _

...and since Screamer and Windy are gonna be representing Cybertron while trying to secure an alliance, it’s gonna be up to them to spend the entire time showing exactly how _~harmonious~ _they can be together >:)c 

** GORETEX **

_ OH FRAG _

YES 

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

_ T__hey__'__re __gonna __have to wear matching accessories _

** GORETEX **

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

But wait: 

_ There's more _

they basically have to constantly do everything for each other 

like pour one another’s drinks 

and they’re expected to keep talking about _all the __things they appreciate about each other and how well they work together _

** GORETEX **

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

WAIT 

There's also this tradition they have to do 

where they gotta 

** h****old hands **

while they explain the history of Camien and Cybertronian relations 

while they've also gotta build this sort jenga tower thing together that's meant to represent the union and cooperation between themselves and their peoples 

** GORETEX **

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A JENGA TOWER IS 

BUT** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA **

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

ALSO 

MOST IMPORTANTLY 

THE CLORANIANS **REALLY **VALUE DANCING 

** INCLUDING COUPLES DANCING **

** GORETEX **

** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH ** ** FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGG **

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

YEAH 

AND YOU KNOW HOW I SAID THEY HAVE TO SHOW THEY’RE IN HARMONY 

** GORETEX **

** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA **

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

_ THEYRE TOTALLY GONNA HAVE TO DANCE TOGETHER THERES NO WAY THEY CAN AVOID IT ITS GONNA HAPPEN _

** GORETEX **

LKZDFOsghioafhbo[ufhbofhy9aiefpia]pqwoopdvu[rum]ug]9RG[rgpRGPidjhg[qroghPGJUQPRGJ:pr 

GuLKFHD’ 

PHOIJK’DcR’HJ[KHRG]PKN}RTO]=JWRPYJRYL[J]WRYLJ 

qpflgma;igrwepOEIFA[EG[ORJGEGKsefpiufrghuwrghrg 

hp Ejtgu89dagdjfupqdjivreojfm'uidv 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

MY THOUGTS EXACTLY 

OH PRIMUS 

** THIS IS HAPPENING **

** THIS IS GONNA HAPPEN **

** _ AND THEY CAN DANCE TOO _ **

** GORETEX **

SCREAMER CAN TOTALLY DANCE 

EVERY PARTY HE ALWAYS HAD 2 PROVE HE WAS BETTER AT IT THAN EVERY1 ELSE 

BUT HE COUL NEVER BEAT SOUNDWAVE 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

AND WINDBLADE’S CAMIEN 

THEYRE ALL ABOUT DANCING AND STUFF 

THEY’RE GONNA DANCE TOGETHER AND THEY’RE GONNA BE REALLY GOOD AT IT 

THEY’RE GONNA BE SUPER AWKWARD ABOUT IT AT FIRST BECAUSE THEYRE INFURIATING 

BUT THEN 

THEY’RE GONNA GET INTO THE SWING OF IT BECAUSE THEY’RE SO GOOD AT IT 

AND STARSCREAM WONT BE ABLE TO RESIST SHOWING OFF 

AND WINDBLADE’S ALWAYS DOWN TO PARTY 

** GORETEX **

OH FRAG YES 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

AND THE MORE INTO IT THEY GET THE MORE ATTENTION THEY’LL GET 

AND THE MORE ATTENTION THEY GET THE MORE INTO IT THEY’LL GET 

AND THEY’LL BE SPINNING AROUND AND DOING DIPS AND TWIRLS AND THROWS AND CATCHING EACH OTHER 

_ AND GETTING IN REALLY CLOSE _

** GORETEX **

** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA **

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

THEN WHEN THE DANCING IS FINALLY OVER THEY’LL FINALLY REALISE THEYRE ALL WRAPPED AROUND EACH OTHER 

AND THEY’LL LOOK INTO EACH OTHERS OPTICS AND FEEL THE HEAT OF ONE ANOTHERS FRAMES 

THEN THEY’LL QUICKLY JUMP AWAY FROM EACH OTHER BUT ITLL BE TOO LATE 

WAY TOO LATE 

IN THAT MOMENT THEY WERE PRESSED AGAINST EACH OTHER EVERYTHING BECAME TOO CLEAR 

AND THEY CANT DENY OR ESCAPE IT ANYMORE 

Then later that night 

when they’re finally alone 

Windblade will meet Starscream on a balcony under the stars 

and she’ll say they worked well together that day 

and Starscream will agree 

then they’ll be silent for a moment... 

gazing at each other in the starlight... 

and they’ll think of how far they’ve come together... 

and how far they’ve got left to go... 

and wordless they’ll move towards each other... 

...the last distance they have to cover before they start a new chapter... 

...a chapter that starts when their lips finally meet. 

** GORETEX **

THEN WITH THEIR FIREPOWER FINALLY TRULY UNITED THEYLL BURN DOWN THE CLORANIN HOMEWORLD TOGETHER AND DANCE ONCE MORE IN THE ASHES 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

Vortex. 

Why would they do that? 

** GORETEX **

because once they finally get togetehr theyll no longer have to bother with diplomacy 

theyll have the power to finally bring about the true cybertronian empire we’ve been waiting for 

plus if the cloranans care about a shows of unity brawl and blast off are totally gonna frag this mission up for them so theyll have no choice but to use violence 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

...maybe I should ask Starscream to consider a different escort 

** GORETEX **

LIKE ME 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

… 

Who do you harmonise with exactly Vortex? 

** GORETEX **

er 

u kinda? 

as screamer and windy cut the main bloody swath through the cloran capital we can pick off the 1s that try to escape in the chaos 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

... 

You know, sometimes I really worry about how much being Starscream’s friend has desensitised me 

to the point where I'm somehow your friend as well 

** GORETEX **

u love me 

ur an autobot, u have to love me and forgive me all the time 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

That's definitely not how it works 

** GORETEX **

thats how it worked with megsy and op 

and u and screamer 

and u and tc 

and u and megsy 

actually maybe ur just a freak 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

:/ 

always a pleasure to talk to you vortex 

** GORETEX **

yeah I kno im gr8 

anyway it should b us going 2 cloran 

wed make sure theyd finally hook up 

in fact we should come up with a backup plan in case it doesnt happen on cloran 

alright ill paint my frame some different colours and scuff myself up and tell them that im vortex from the future travelling back in time to warn them that the organic vector sigma at the centre of earth is gonna send out a pulse causig all the earthlings to merge into a humongous flesh combiner with 1000000000000 lazer eyes thats gonna melt every1 on cybertron into slag and then drink it all to fuel its insatiable organic engine unless they do something to stop it 

then you run in screaming youve had a dead guy vision about how they need to convince earth vector sigma that the 2 of them r actually liege maximo and solus prime in disguise cos they were secretly lovers and created earth as their secret weapon that woul activate and destroy everything if they went missing 

so screamer and windy have gotta then fight their way down to the centre of earth 

mashing all the humans that try to stop them into mush 

and blowing up all their planes and tanks 

and using the planes and tanks to throw at the humans and turn them into mush 

which then explodes 

then when they get down to the centre of earth they have to makeout in front of entrance of vector sigma to convince it that theyre really maximo and solus so it will open up for them so they can then blow it up 

then when it doesnt open up theyll think they have to frag to really be convincing 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

...I feel as though there are a lot of unaccounted for factors in this plan that may cause problems. 

** GORETEX **

it worked in a fanfic i wrote!! 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

You know I think your fanfics are 

very creative 

but I don’t think it’s... 

applicable to real life 

For a start I’m pretty sure humans repoduce sexually and all that’s at the centre of the earth is molten rock 

** GORETEX **

ew 

whateva 

well then we use the enigma of combination to force them to combine since it worked for finally making onslaught and blast off hook up 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

… 

Are you sure it worked with Onslaught and Blast Off? 

I mean...are they doing ok lately? 

** GORETEX **

im not here to talk about their exhausting relatioship that I have to put up with every day 

u kno wat lets not use the enigma 

It made onslaught weird 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

...yeah... 

** GORETEX **

ok 

how about 

we convince them 2 hold a day celebrating how the colonies brought people together 

particularly couples 

not_ just _couples 

but_ particularly _couples

we can talk to some of the bots who coupled up to make them want it to help us convince wb and ss 

like sparkstalker and 2nd hand windblade 

and rc and fake windblade 

and catboy and birdchic kinda count to since they got exiled or wateva 

so we tell all these couples the idea and get them to come with us to convice screamer and windy its a good idea 

and also itll remind em of_ hey__ look at all these ppl who hooked up many of who both work well together and still actually work together well and BTW THEYRE ALSO FROM DIFFERENT WORLDS HEY REMIND U OF ANY1??????? _

then once they agree 2 it well organise stuff 2getha and well make sure that it keeps reminding them** HEY THESE OTHER GUYS R FRAGGING NOW AND ITS WORKING PRETTY GOOD 4 THEM **and also all the celebrations will be all about how now that theyve got every1 2getha things are way better 

like _aint __it so great all these __ppl __got to __b __together _ ** _ AINT IT SO GREAT TO HAVE SOMEONE RIGHT_****_??? _ **

AND well celebrate the leaders who made it all possibl by mentioning all of those things theyr into about each other 

and theyll b like 

soaked in reasons they should totally frag 

and they will b out of reasons not 2 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

That... 

might actually work 

Wow 

WOW 

OMP 

We have to do this. 

We have to do this IMMEDIATELY 

** GORETEX **

HA 

_ n__ow __whos __fanfic is not applicable to reality? _

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

Well for a start, you’ve never written a fanfic with this scenario 

Or anything like this scenario 

** GORETEX **

...not yet 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

We don’t have time to make it fiction, we have to make it reality! 

** GORETEX **

we'll make it happen and then i'll move onto chronicling reality instead 

and all my old fics will become retroactively true 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

… 

I died in one of your fics 

** GORETEX **

i told u i wrote that one before i found out ur not completely boring 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

Even if I was completely boring it doesn’t mean I should have to be reading a story for fun and then suddenly read about myself getting decapitated by zombie!Prowl’s tongue and then eaten by a sparkeater combiner while my severed head watches 

** GORETEX **

man we really do see some things differently 

anyway youve died before so it cant be as bad as that 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

Actually, the fact that I have experienced death made it way worse 

** GORETEX **

ok ok ok 

Look. 

I’ll write a sequel where u get brought back 2 life and thenbecome screamer and windys minion master of the living dead 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

:) that would be really nice actually 

** GORETEX **

and then we team up and conquer and rule over the endless shrieking nethergoreworld of the seventh unknowable dusk together 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

_ aaa__wwwwwww _

** GORETEX **

dont get mushy 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

you love it. 

you love me and you love my mush 

** GORETEX **

i rly dont 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

yeah you do 

All you cons are big sops deep down 

That's why you all end up being my friends 

After all you have to like soft and sweet things to like me uwu 

** GORETEX **

ur gross 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

then you must be pretty gross too for loving my art so much 

** GORETEX **

i only like it cos its SS/WB stuff it would be way better if they were killing ppl 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

Ah well, if you don’t actually enjoy it that much I guess theres no point showing it to you 

** GORETEX **

NO 

WAIT 

alright 

i think its... 

like 

idk 

they look all happy together and all pressed up against each other and even tho theyr not even fragging its still nice? idk. i like it 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

:) 

That's gotta be one of, if not the nicest things you've ever said to me 

** GORETEX **

im not nice 

but I guess I can make an exception with u 

since ur an autobot and seem to need it or whateva 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

<:3c 

that's really sweet, thank you 

** GORETEX **

ew 

but I guess thats a compliment from u so 

thanks I guess? 

ANYWAY 

once theyre together we can rub it in tcs face 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

aw I <3 TC 

I don’t wanna rub anything in his face :( 

** GORETEX **

thats not what u said when u were overcharged the other night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

SHUT IT 

ANYWAY 

TC’s great and doesn't deserve eithr of us giving him scrap 

even if his fics are...well...not for us 

** GORETEX **

he could have made ss frag wb in his movie 

instead he spent the entire time going on about his thing with megs 

i had to watch that happen for 4m years 

im more sick of it than I am of blast off and onslaught 

and then he writes MORE fic about it 

like 

get over it already 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

Well TC writes what he knows 

and what he thinks he knows 

and he knows way more about SS and Megs...debacle 

then he knows about the relationship between Screamer and Windy 

Maybe if I told him more about it he’d be interested in trying to write something new... 

** GORETEX **

id rather just mock him when we prove we r right 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

oh be nice 

** GORETEX **

no 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

You will one day. 

You can't resist me. 

I’m _insidious _

You won’t even realise its happening 

Everything will seem completely normal, then one day you'll find yourself helping someone pick up their cargo after they accidentally dropped it in the street, for no other reason than to be helpful, and you’ll realise that it’s too late, _I’__ve got in, and __yo__u can__’__t go back now, _**_yo_****_u_****_’_****_r_****_e_****_ a nice person _ **

** GORETEX **

** No. **

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

_ Yes__. _

**I.**

** Am****. **

** Inevitable****. **

** GORETEX **

ur terrifying 

er 

i mean 

… 

ok u r 

somehow 

i don’t get it 

but somehow u r 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

Ok, **THIS **has got to be the nicest things you’ve ever said to me 

You know. 

By your standards. 

** GORETEX **

like I dont really get it 

but u made megs all lame and hippy dippy 

u basically defeated him 

and anyone who defeats megs is hardcore 

even if you did it in the most unhardcore way ever 

...but the fact that it actually works somehow makes it hardcore? 

idk 

but 

i guess what im trying to say is 

somehow 

ur hardcore 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

… 

_ T__hat’s very kind of you to say _

** GORETEX **

** NO **

** STOP **

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

hey 

Didn't you just say that the way I do things, which involves being nice, is hardcore? 

** GORETEX **

....................................................... 

look idk ok im confused 

but 

ur weirdly hardcore 

and im proper hardcore 

and that makes us 

like a good team right? 

we cover all bases 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

I agree :) 

_ b__uuuuuut _

You know it might help you overall to learn some... 

how about we just call it “diplomacy” 

** GORETEX **

BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

well 

wat if i get to teach you the berserker way of the ultra burning explosive fury spark 

my own personal battle technique that ive been perfecting for the last 4m years 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

Deal. 

You teach me something, and I'll teach you something 

_ a__nd no __takebacks _

** GORETEX **

Ur fragging on 

and then when were done 

welll be unstoppable 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

You’re damn right. 

ah 

I g2g 

Windy just showed up 

_ s__he wants my help coming up with some stuff to say about __S__creamer in front of the __Cloranians _

** GORETEX **

!!!!!! 

tell her to talk about his smexy turbines 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

_ l__ol _

don’t worry 

I’ll come up with something good ;) 

** GORETEX **

u better 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

I will! 

** GORETEX **

im counting on u 

** *~*~bumblebae~*~* **

I won’t let any of us down! 

byeeeee! 

** GORETEX **

cya! 

**Author's Note:**

> Just to be clear, Bee and Vortex may not care for megastar, but I'm into it, so no sneaky ship-bashing intended on my part.


End file.
